Educational research consistently shows that talking with your children about their school and learning will improve their academic work and self esteem.
Most parents say their children’s education is very important and a crucial aspect of their overall development. However, more than 8 in 10 admit they don’t know as much about it as they’d like.
Becta’s research has shown how problems can arise from trying too hard to get a child to talk about school . With more than 4 in 10 parents saying their children seem reluctant or unable to talk about their school day and half of all children saying they don’t want to or can’t talk about it, we are seeing a breakdown in communication. Parents feel left in the dark – this can increase their worries.
The more you push for information, the more your children resist. The solution seems to lie in changing your approach so that your child becomes more willing to talk to you. These changes need you to keep your worries under control, try different ways of communicating, be patient, and let the child tell you things when they feel able to.
As this report has shown, technology can help bridge the communication gap between parents, schools and children. It works in two ways: making learning more inspiring attractive and powerful while also enabling children to be more involved and learn more beyond the classroom.
When it comes to talking to your child after school, the most successful conversations are calm, creative, non-confrontational and well timed. Too often, parents start asking for information when the children are tired, hungry or just need time to change gear. Talking about school should be fun for everybody, not just a grilling for the child. Talking about your own day can be a good start. Another idea is for each of you to make a diary about what happened each day – this can work especially well for split families, where children can save up things to tell the parent they are seeing less often.
We found that children were more willing to talk about hobbies than about school – this is because a hobby is something they have chosen, which belongs to them. Clearly children can’t choose to go to school, but they can feel that what they do there belongs just to them. Don’t feel you have the right to intrude on this area of their life – let them invite you in. Encouraging a child’s enthusiasm about school is the best way to maximise their learning and enjoyment there. This will build up their self-esteem and make them want to tell you about their experiences. Be patient – show your child you’re really interested in what they are doing and also that you respect their right to choose how and when they want to discuss it; in that way you will be hearing a lot more than you do now.
Schools play a huge part in this. School and home must work together to enable children to do as well as they can. This means schools must communicate with parents about course work and curriculum so that parents can gear discussions, books or outings to what goes on in the classroom. This must be a three-way communication in which the child is a key player, with their needs firmly at the centre.
Technology helps make school communication happen. Next Generation Learning emphasises the exciting possibilities that technology brings in terms of communication and learning. Schools that offer support and guidance for families to communicate with them via technology have more satisfied parents and show an all-round approach to the support of the learner. Technology also allows schools to send out information at the right times, so parents can keep abreast of the child’s curriculum, learning targets and outcomes, and to plan family activities and outings to support what is being learnt in the classroom.
The Next Generation Learning agenda can bring about so many of the principles of good communication, a helpful shared involvement in the child’s school-work and progress, and an open, flexible dialogue between child, parent and school.
In summary – a successful learner is a happy learner; a happy learner is one who feels capable and also supported and understood when necessary. For children this is best brought about by calm, supportive communication between all those involved in their education and care, and a relaxed, warm and positive family setting where all the successes and disappointments of the day can be shared.